Audition for BKFK
The Coronavirus and social distancing has forced us to think differently. As a result, we have made some interesting discoveries! We have worked out a way to record kids from around the world, safely in their homes, to perform on our podcast. All you need is a good internet line and a computer or laptop with a built in microphone! (Just a note, we cannot pay participants to perform on BKFK. It's just a fun experience!)
Keen to try? Great! Below we have attached a script with some lines you can try. As usual, Ruby will handle the narration, so you can just focus on the characters. Here are some guidelines:
Be bold! Speak loud and clear!
Don't rush! A lot of our listeners are very young, so they might struggle to understand if you speak too fast.
Move your body as you speak. Express yourself with your hands and arms.
Most important of all, express yourself with your face! Feel like the character feels. If the character is happy, smile (a lot)! If the character is angry, frown (a lot). If the character is scared, scrunch up your face like you're scared! Get the idea? Don't be shy! Just do it and have fun!
Don't be subtle, be OVER THE TOP!
We've written a few notes on the side of the script that might help you. You don't need to read the whole script. Just choose a character that you like, and read a few of those lines (do as many as you are comfortable with). Maybe do each one twice? We often find the second time is better :-) To submit, record yourself on a computer or phone and send to email@example.com
The Fisherman and the Bottle.
A poor old fisherman was standing on the rocks, fishing. He was having a really bad day.
“Again and again”, he sighed, “I cast this cursed net and always come up with nothing!”
The first time he cast his nets that day…… all he pulled out was an old boot.
The second time, all he pulled out was a broken pot full of slimy mud……… The third time he threw out his nets with all his might and all he had pulled in was an old copper bottle……. But there was something unusual about the bottle that stopped the fisherman from hurling it back in disgust . Perhaps it was just the way the it glinted in the light? …….. Or maybe it was the strange wax seal around the neck, highly decorated with strange inscriptions and markings…… It might even have been the fact that the fisherman could have sworn he heard something inside!...........
“Is that a faint noise coming from the bottle?,“ he wondered………
He hastily took out his fishing knife, removed the wax seal around the
Neck………… and draw out the heavy cork. ………He turned the copper bottle upside down and shook it……….. All that came out was a fine trickle of ancient dust ………..that strangely seemed to blow upwards with the wind, instead of falling down. A trickle of dust……. that became a wisp of smoke......... a wisp of smoke…….. that became a puff of mist ........a puff of mist….. that became a billowing whirlwind ....... and above the whirlwind was an enormous body, with strong, jewelled arms, tattooed hands and a massive, fierce, bald head with golden earrings, a shimmering turban, a curly moustache, a long, twisty beard and cruel green eyes.
What! I hear you ask! A whirlwind with arms and a head! What manner of creature could this be? Well, if any of you remember the story of Aladdin, then you’ll know that the fisherman was standing before ……….a gigantic genie!
“Kneel before me,” the genie roared, “you snot from a quivering jelly fish’s nose!
"And prepare to meet your death!"
“What have I done?” the terrified fisherman begged, falling to the sand, at the same time wondering, “do jellyfish have noses?”
He wisely decided to keep this to himself, “Hold on -hold on- hold on!” he cried “l know the story of Aladdin and the genie of the lamp. Haven't I set you free? Whatever happened to “your wish is my command?”
You have indeed set me free from this cursed bottle!" the genie bellowed, “but it is FAR TOO LATE for wishes. For the first century that I was trapped inside that copper prison, I vowed to grant three wishes to anyone who set me free – regardless of how greedy they were. But no one came to my aid. Do you have any idea how BORING it was in there! For the next two hundred years, I swore to give never-ending riches to anyone who set me free. But again, NO-one! Counting sheep can only entertain one for so long! ………….. For the next five hundred years, I vowed that I would give an entire kingdom to anyone who set me free. Fat lot of good that did me! Nobody opened the bottle!
I then swore that the very next person I saw would suffer my most vicious revenge. I have been trapped in that tin can for TWO ….THOUSAND….. YEARS. I have counted sheep up until – 2 trillion, three hundred and twelve billion, four thousand and, oh forget it! A lot, OK!
As I said, two thousand years! And it is you who will have the honour of receiving …..my ……rrrrrrevenge! Prepare to DIE! Ha ha ha !"
The fisherman shivered as the genie drew an enormous curved sword from his belt……
He began to think fast. He had to think of a way to save himself!
To the genie's astonishment, the fisherman gave a friendly wink.
“Now look here my good man," the fisherman laughed, “enough of this
nonsense. The way you appeared from nowhere like that was really a very impressive trick, but I should tell you that I simply don't believe in magic. It’s obviously a very clever illusion. Well done!"
“What do you mean, you don't believe in magic?” the genie roared, his face as dark as a skeletons eyeball “Behold,….. ME! “
Fisherman: skinny, short, tired, despondent
Exasperated, throwing hands in the air
Questioning, Quizzical, brows furrowed
Angry, Loud, Dangerous, Pompous, self-important,
Stammering, uncertain, petrified, panic
Desperately trying to not be killed!
Booming voice, dark anger, face twisted with anger
face twisted, fist curled!
Rage fades is he tries to recall, but then composes himself
(evil genie laughs)
Trying to sound like he is not scared. Smiling. Confident.